I love William Shatner ... he's so completely full of crap

Boy, it must have been rough for poor William Shatner:

The 77-year-old, who shot to fame as Captain Kirk in the original 1960s TV show, insists he couldn't enjoy flings with the series' most devoted followers because he was so turned off by their bizarre bedroom behaviour.

In his new autobiography, Up Till Now, Shatner explains how women would pretend they were being "beamed up" by the Starship Enterprise commander, shrieking: "So, this is what it's like to be in bed with Captain Kirk!"

He writes: "You can't imagine how much of a downer that is in every sense of the word."

Instead, Shatner porked every hot actress who ever appeared on the show.

Now that I think about it, I had the same problem. Whenever I bed a blog groupie,* she shouts out "LOL! LOL!"

I'm tellin' ya, that ain't good for your hard drive.

* Trust me folks, there ain't no such thing as a blog groupie.

More evidence that life is not fair

So, this chick who writes a mommy blog got fired for writing that her boss injects Botox into her face. She then devotes herself to full-time blogging and manages to eke out a modest income. How modest? Oh, just $40,000 a month. Yes, that's right. In one month. For a @!$%&*$ing mommy blog.

Sweet babbling Jesus.

Meanwhile, there's a Web site that essentially consists of pictures of cats, all of them submitted by readers. It's the hottest damn thing on the Web. And they sell advertising. I don't know how much they make, but I'm pretty sure it's more than I'm making.

So this is the situation in a nutshell: Over at my other site, I devote hours every day to writing articles that tell people about the ins and outs of local government and the media, in the hopes of filling the void created by uncaring corporate media that cuts news coverage and gives us daily updates on Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

For as a reward, I'm lucky to recoup Web hosting and ISP costs.

But some person creates a mommy blog -- better-written-than-most, but still a mommy blog -- and she's earning more in a month than i earn in a year from my REAL job. And some goofballs post pictures of cats emblazoned with incorrectly spelled dialogue, and they also are making money hand over fist.

@!$%&*$ing mommy bloggers.

@!$%&*$ing cat bloggers.

Excuse me, I'm going to crawl into bed and whimper until it's time to leave for work.

It's a womb, not a clown car, woman!

CULINE: "In this Aug. 2, 2007 file photo, Michelle Duggar, left, is surrounded by her children and husband Jim Bob, second from left, after the birth of her 17th child in Rogers, Ark. The Duggars announced on Friday, May 9, 2008 that they are expecting their 18th child.
(AP Photo/ Beth Hall, File)"

Good God woman. I like egg rolls, but I know when to stop.

In a related story, Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin wants to ban puppy mills.

Hawaii is revolting

Oh, I dunno. It seemed like such a pretty place on Magnum P.I.

Seriously, there's some sort of attempt to reclaim the state by natives and kick the United States out

AP's Mark Niesse reported yesterday, "Native Hawaiian sovereignty advocates" who are members of the group known as the Hawaiian Kingdom Government occupied the grounds of the palace of Hawaii's final monarch, Queen Lili`uokalani.

"Hawaiian activists have long used the palace as the site for protests of what they call the United States' occupation of the islands, but never before had they physically taken control," wrote Niesse.

Pacific Business News reported that the "protesters" surrounded the Iolani Palace in Honolulu, chained palace gates, posted no-trespassing signs, and told "palace officials that the palace is their rightful seat of government." The PBN story noted that "Only those with Hawaiian blood, as well as news media, were initially allowed onto palace grounds."

I gotta tell ya, not that worried. These people ain't exactly maori. We took over the place by, what, paying them off with trinkets and beads? It worked in Manhattan.

I say we put it up for a referendum. Of course, if they secede, everyone who lives there loses all their Social Security benefits, veterans benefits, etc.

Now, if we're talking about giving native Hawaiians the same rights as native Americans (as in "Indians") I completely agree.

Hero of the day

Here's the deal on the hero in question:

O’Connor led a quick reaction force June 24, 2006, in Kandahar province’s Panjwai District, described by Special Forces as one of the most hotly contested areas of southern Afghanistan.

He maneuvered his force through Taliban positions and crawled alone through enemy machine-gun fire to reach two wounded soldiers, the citation said. He tied a signal cloth to his back to identify himself to aircraft overhead. While under fire, he provided medical care and carried a wounded soldier more than 150 yards across open ground. He climbed over a wall three times under enemy fire to help wounded soldiers seek cover. Then he took over as the operations sergeant and rallied, motivated and led his team.

Hrmph! It's not like he did something really brave, like wore a lapel pin or signed a document saying that waterboarding isn't torture.

People who need to be driven 100 miles out into the desert and left there

I could tell from the instant I got behind them in the checkout line at Walgreens that they would be trouble. Some people just give off that vibe. One of them left the line to get one more thing. Of course he wasn't back by the time she reached the cashier. Then, after several items had been rung up, she heard the announcement that her prescription was ready. THEN they debated whether to finish getting run-up at the front register or back in the pharmacy.

Thankfully, the second register opened and scooted over there. Just as I was leaving, one of these two winners knocked over a display.

Of course, they were all smiles.

I was out the door.

City Planning for Dummies

I'd like to thank the people who decided it would be an absolutely smashing idea to close down sections of West Columbia Terrace at the same time they've got multiple lanes of West Main Street closed at the intersection with Sheridan.

Moment sago, I was part of a three-block long line of cars stuck on Main Street trying to get home. Thanks to the barricades they put off to keep low-life scum like ME out of their neighborhoods, I couldn't pull off Main and hightail it up to Armstrong.

And on University between Columbia Terrace and Main, there are multiple city trucks and multiple city employees filling up potholes. But, I saw more workers standing on their shovels than using them, but it was late in the day ... 3 p.m. Backed-up traffic made me and, I am sure, hundreds of otherPeorians, waste gasoline as we sat through multiple traffic light changes,

Absolutely smashing example of the brilliant city planning we've come to expect here in the River City. It sort of reminded of two summers ago, when the closed down West Nebraska, Gale and Forrest Hill Drive at the same damn time, preventing anyone from being traveling east to west the the city.

Keep up the good work folks. It's always nice to see some things never change in the ol' River City.